When I last posted, it was on a very difficult weekend of my life. As the Lord had it, there WAS a break in our relationship, but just one week later, God brought us back together, and had plans for us. He is so good! Just TWO days later....we were ENGAGED! June 6th.... :) Wedding planning was in full swing....so many things to plan, decide, and be indecisive about. But, oh so much fun. There was even a date set. We were so excited.
Sadly, as you can tell, everything that I am writing is in the past tense. Just 1 month and 11 days after being engaged, we parted ways permanently. That is, until God leads differently. The reason this happened, is long and painful to describe. All I can say, is that God is doing a work in both of us, and He will reveal His wonderful plan to us, as He sees fit.
Its very heartbreaking though....there are so many memories...some days, I can't stop crying. I won't eat Oreos. I won't play piano. Singing is hard. Chocolate sticks in my throat. Laughter is few and far between. Its so hard to let go....all of our pictures went away for a while....along with notes, chocolate wrappers, dried roses etc....so that I can grieve and heal during this time. I am praying for him, me, us....I'm praying for the will of God to be shown in and through us.
Take care to notice - I love him dearly and desperately. That will not change.
God just has different plans for our lives, separately, right now.
This is so hard to write...I would not trade the last 7 months of my life, or the privelege of knowing Luke, for ANYTHING. I have learned so much from him...He brought a laughter and a joy to my life, that was not there before. It has been a pleasure to know him.
I still love you, Luke Dominic Massey.
