Portrait Photography

http://www.portraitphotographyebook.com/

Here is a link to a book I"m trying to win. It looks so interesting, and I love learning more about photography...

10-22-11

Today is was our wedding day. Something so looked forward to, with great anticipation. Something that God chose to take away from us. We still don't understand why, but I know that He has a purpose. It doesn't make today any easier....there are still tears, and that one question, ''why?''. 

The weather is beautiful. It would  have been a gorgeous wedding....like I posted on FB this morning:

Pictures. Laughter. Chaos. Tears. Blessings. Nerves. Butterflies.

 All these and more. 

My favorite part of any wedding is to see the look on the grooms' face, when he sees his bride. So wonderful, magical, such love is displayed there. 

There is joy, and anticipation. Pride, and wonder. 

Even so much more our Heavenly Father, when He sees his Bride. Today I will remember, even though there has been pain and hurt, I am still precious to God, and he loves me. 

I am precious to Luke and he loves me. 

We are precious to God. 

The love of God is true Love in its purest form. 

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

¹ If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part,¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13

No more

That's right, no more sad melancholy posts. Today it is finished. AND I'M FREAKIN HAPPY ABOUT IT TO.  The month is finally over. What more can I say?! God has brought us both through this, and we are now on the other side, waiting to hear from Him again. My God is always faithful.

:) He's coming to see me tomorrow. :) And I'm happy about that. Fantabulistically happy.

Just because this month is over, I still intend to try and keep writing on here. It has helped me to be more verbal, and not just bottle things in. During this time, things were not written for someone to read necessarily, but because I needed a place that I could write things out. And not on FB. :) So, I'm sorry if I bored you, but I promise I will be more happy.

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Day 7

My spaghetti brain is overcooked and covered in sauce. I don't know what to think. God in Heaven, guide me in your truths. Amen.

Day 8

Today I learned that there has been a horrible misunderstanding...this whole time my poor man was thinking that 4 weeks is from 21st to 21st..... not 31 days. But he has decided to stick with what he said, rather then what he meant. I feel very sorry for him. I know he wants this over as much as I do. *sigh* I guess the extra days wont hurt too bad. :/  Hey, it's almost over! 

Most of today was spent running errands and eating  lunch at a country store. YUM! I love their deli. And it was equally fun to get out a little. 'Errands' consisted of oh, those usual errands, accompanied with a trip to the library :) and an Ice-cream pit stop. I, um, managed to down a whole pint of Cookies-and-cream BY MYSELF. And boy, was it good! And a coke. 

Tonight, mom and I got onto the subject of cutting hair for some reason, and by the time we were through, she was missing about 8 inches. *chuckling* Hahah, and yes, she likes it. I love cutting hair! (No worries, mine is still firmly intact) 

Sometime yesterday while I was sewing, I managed to rip my fingertip open with a pin. IT HURTS.  

This conversation is becoming pointless, and it's because the writer is about to fall asleep at the keys. 

Sweet well, and sleep dreams!!

P.S. The 2 second glimpse I had today, was enough to remind me that a month has been/is a LONG time. 

<(")

Day 9

Whew!! Finally I get to start a more 'official' countdown. 9 days and counting. I couldn't be happier!!

So, yesterday was rather strange - mom had something to drop off for Luke, so I rode with her to Lott. It was strange being so close, but not able to see him. I wonder how he felt.....I had made doughnuts that morning though, and mom gave him some and told him ''someone made these for you, and it wasn't me''. :) I hope he liked them. 

I got a lot of crying in too....for some reason so many things hit me yesterday, and generally promoted a wet face. 

Today was much better. I woke from my nap with happy thoughts. I dreamt of him, a sweet dream. I could handle some more of those. I don't know what God has planned in the next 9 days, or how all this is going to turn out, but I know for sure that He has it in His hands, and He always had His best in mind for His children. I have nothing to worry about. 

I made more progress on Belle's dress today. Here are a few pictures from my webcam....almost done!

Yay!

Well, this gal is sleepy, and she has a few more things to do, so until next time, sweetest of dreams! 

<(")

Day 11

Thursday - Day 14

Hmm, thursday was full of sewing, and doing random, odd things. I was still on the body cleanse, so I didn't have very much energy. I have hardly had chocolate, and I can feel the effects. :/ And coffee too, for that matter. Oh the joys of the simple things in life. 

Friday - Day 13

I was invited to a birthday slumber party, and day of shopping, starting on Friday night. So, my morning consisted of doing things to get ready to go, and to help mom out. I was so excited!!!! About 3:30 I was on my way, to go swimming, and then to Ez's house for supper and the sleepover. Loved getting to know those girls better! And I really enjoyed the girl time. It was muchly needed.

Saturday - Day 12

 Saturday morning, (after ending our night with movies, laughter, and food....) Ez made us wonderful waffles for breakfast to fortify us for the day of shopping. Marvelous! On to Waco we go...stopping at Kohl's, Old Navy, Mardel, and other places I don't remember. I got the bestest deal at Kohl's.. ;) $50 heels for $5.49. Can't beat that! Plus many others things that were cool that day. It was so much fun to look at random and odd things, and ask for opinions on how something looks....maybe I think this is weird, but then I've never been shopping with girlfriends before... I got to spend my Birthday Mardel gift card on cool books. Yay! Overall, it was the most fun I had had in so long. I was blessed. That night, after coming home, I had to step back into reality and normal life. :/ 

Sunday - Day 11

Its funny that the 11'th day is on September 11'th. BUT I'M FREAKIN' HAPPY IT'S ONLY 11 MORE DAYS. You won't catch me complaining. :) I'm soooo ready to have this all over with. 

Sunday.....the day we go to church to learn more about God, and to fellowship with other believers. In Sunday School, dad has been taking us on a study of the Rapture and End Times, because we believe that it is very close. If you follow timelines in the Bible that God has put there for us to know,  many people have  come to the conclusion that the rapture will be VERY near - as in, within weeks. Lord Jesus, come quickly! I can't say that I am afraid - but I would like to be with the ones that I love when the end is near. My greatest fear is that I won't be. And yeah, I know that's a crazy fear, but that's just me. There are so many new things to think about. (If you want more information on where and why I have come to these conclusions, and why I feel like the end is so near, let me know and I will be happy to explain) But for now, I will continue to occupy, and to do the work that God gives me. That includes praying... 

Tonight we had a group of people over that were interested in this, and dad shared with them in continuation of sunday school this morning, and then showed them a video that we found the other day that emphasizes, and brings out so many more points to all this. So interesting, and definitely a lot to think about. 

I miss my sweetheart, Luke, and I'm sad that I don't get to share these new things that I'm learning, and my prayer times with him. Soon....and I can only hope that God will give him wisdom and insight as well. There are soooooooOOOO many things that I want to tell him. The closer it gets, the harder it is so wait. Only one more lifetime to go. God, give me strength. Now, I will leave you as I want to go and spend some time in prayer for him, and us. 

Many blessings, Vic

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Day 15

Woohoo!!!

Watching First Knight makes me miss my man something terribly...I love to watch movies with him, and he would like this one. Maybe someday...

Today was oh so random. I woke up earlier then I normally do, because I had some people coming from Abilene for a dress fitting. They were a good hour late. Oh the time I could have spent sleeping! :P But, we got the dress fitted and talked about. They left, I sewed like crazy, and then they came back around 4 to try it on again! It looks wonderful, and I'm so pleased with it! I'm working off a cartoon drawing of Belle's yellow ballgown, from Beauty and the Beast. It's difficult, but turning out great! Have worked from drawings before, without a pattern, but never cartoons.

I'm the third day on a body cleanse....I'm weak and tired, and HUNGRY. The scales pleases me though. :) I need someone to hold my hand though, when I take all my pills and yucky drinks. (INMSB)

I'm looking forward to this weekend though...getting out with other girls. It'll be fun! Thanks, Ez, for having a birthday!! :)

I feel rather blank tonight....there is plenty on my mind, but nothing blog worthy.

Goodnight!

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Day 18

Ugh, so many emotions and thoughts running through my head. A dear friend in TN got married this past weekend, and seeing pictures of it, made me really miss it that I didn't go. But I was here for a reason. Oh, and FB continues to puzzle me. And a ton of other things. Things that I can't put into words. I'm just hoping that this week goes by as fast as last week.

Tomorrow, I have some friends coming from Abilene to try on a dress - one that I hope to get finished this week!

I'm so weak, and have little motivation....i'm on a body cleanse, so just liquids. And I'm up to HERE with water! Does anyone else think water tastes weird?

Tonight we went to Wades for supper. YUM! We had tons of fun and laughs. Thanks!!

Now, I need to go and sleep so I can start the next 24 hours. 384 down, 384 to go. HALF WAY!!! This makes me really happy.

Night! <(")

Day 19

Hey! We are in the teen digits now! Woohoo!

I am majorly missing out on something and I don't know exactly what it is...but I have reason to believe that someone was close by tonight....While we were watching a movie, mom thought she heard him come up the steps.....funny, since we saw the statuses then. :) Thanks...its comforting to know he drove past all 700 ;)

This morning with the cooler temperatures and nice breeze, it felt just like Easter Sunday did this spring. And that fact brought lots of memories with it. Smells, sights, recollections. *sigh* tomorrow is half-way. I think the second half will go faster than the first.

I had better get off and go to sleep. Tomorrow is a busy day, and I have a ton of things to do this week. Looking forward to the weekend though, and Ez's party! Will be great to get out again.

Goodnight yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'll.

<(")

Day 18

Almost half-way!!! ;)))

Today was so random - I spent some time on the computer downloading fonts, and getting acquainted with Picasa. :) Then this afternoon, we went to a friends' house, and she gave us the cutest chihuahua. He is brindle and white spotted - cutest thing ever.

Meet LeBeau

        

This was the only picture where he really looked up at the camera.. He likes to hide his head.

Cutie

So we spent some time this afternoon lovin' on the new 'baby'. BTW: He lives outside. Just so ya know ;)

Dad and Judson went to Rockdale and picked up a b e a t i f u l horse that someone gave us. Don't have any pictures of her yet, but will try and get some soon! 

Tonight mom and us girls watched a movie: Sabrina, with Harrison Ford and Julia Ormond. Never seen that one, but really liking it! 

Oh, and I repainted my toenails. I feel dressed now. :) I read a quote the other day in Pinterest, "You're never fully dressed without a smile". So, even if you're smiling, I think people WOULD prefer if you wore clothes though. Just sayin'. 

I really missed spending my lazy saturday with someone....and I wonder how he spent his. I wonder if he thought about me. I want him to know that I am praying for him. 

Well, I need to head for bed so I don't fall asleep in church in the morning. 

Goodnight! <(")

P.S. If my heart was a house you'd be home - Owl City

Day 19

Whew! Call me female.....I was shopping for 11 hours today. But I found such great stuff!!! :) But now I'm so tired, and I have a case of hives that is keeping me awake, and typing in the dark. Its hard to sleep when your itching.

I had a wonderful text conversation with a friend today while I was shopping. She is so encouraging, and really knows what I'm going through right now. She told me about some books that might help me, and was generally a real face brightener. Thanks, Emily. :)

I'm sooo sleeeeeeepppppy, and I only get to sleep till 7 in the morning. Tomorrow is gonna be a busy day! Oh! And we are getting another horse in the afternoon :D She looks lovely.

Oh well, I'm off to bed now. Sleep sweet!

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Day 20

One third of the way there. I can make it. I know it.

Today was tough. Sometimes it just hits me really hard how much I miss him. And then the tears come.
God is still in control, and has seen me through another 24 hours. 288 down, only 456 more to go.

"You're the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep at night"... Thank you Westlife. You say it so well.

<(")

Insert broken heart

I don't know where to begin... Recently we (my family) has been studying up on the end times prophesies, and how it applies to everything that is happening right now. I don't know how to explain it all, but there are some major things that will be happening in a few weeks that totally line up with the Bible. We can expect the Rapture literally any day. On September 20, there will be an earthquake. It talks about it in Revelation, when the Woman constellation lines up with the moon, and has a halo of 12 stars around her head. The media knows about this - they aren't stupid. They can see these things coming. On September 25, the U.S. will pass a law that readily allows gays in the Military. The wars that are coming, its all been prophesied. The last major end times prophesy was fulfilled in 1948, when Israel became a nation. The Bible says that 1 generation(70 years) later, is when the Tribulation ends. 1948+70=2018-7 years of Tribulation, lands the Rapture in 2011. What really gets me is that this stuff will really begin to happen on September 20. If You are reading this, you will know the signifigance. And that, is what breaks my heart. I am at a loss to know what God is doing through all this. What has He been trying to teach me/us? I am frightened, scared, sad...I don't know what to do.

Even if that was our last goodbye, I love you, Luke Dominic Massey.  <(")

Day 21

(3x7=21) 3 more weeks. Whoopdedoandbababing.

I really need a hug.

Today has been slightly odd.....some people ask me if I'm OK. Don't I look OK to you? And then other 'friends', or rather people I thought were friends, hardly even speak to me. Right now, I need people to talk to. Not because I want sympathy, but because I want to be friendly.

I didn't forget to post yesterday, if you were wondering. Our internet was wacky, so I couldn't. :( Messed up my record :P

I have been listening to Josh Groban all day. Sqee! Even if it's in Latin, it seems to calm me, and I can actually think and pray while it's playing.

God uses some of the randomest things to remind us that we are His children. When I took my nap today, I had some really weird(scary) dreams...usual, but when I woke, I heard this voice in my ear. "Be still my child, I will take care of you."  And I was once again reminded that I, as God's child need to be still so I can hear Him speak. So often I catch myself being so loud in asking and praying for something specific that I want, that I can't hear Him when He answers. So, yes, it was rather random, but God uses ways like that to get our attention. I could hardly wake up from that nap. I sacked out so hard, my head felt like lead.

Right now when it's hard for me to sit at the piano and play music, I listen to more on my laptop, and downloads and stuff....Funny what you find when you look for it. ALSO, I got a pre-order CD from some special friends that have a band. LOVE THEIR CD. Its ahhma-ZING. Here is a link to their band page, if you would 'Like' to like it. :D I can't wait to share the CD with Luke.

So, music, blogging, and sewing are huge parts in my life right now. Besides all the chocolate and coffee. Both of which I am cutting back on. Luke does not want a central nervous system ruined-overindulged girlfriend when this is over :P

I found a Camo hat somewhere and just had to have a picture :)

I 'made' these on Picnik the other day after getting some inspiration from Pinterest. I thought they turned out pretty great!!

Thank you, Pooh Bear for your quote. I love it! 

That's all for now, peeps.

<(")

Day 23

Webcams make self-portraits sooo much easier. Ha.

Today was...hot. For 9.5 hours, I painted white paint. And more paint....and I think you get the picture. This is an old house, so there is no A/C, just open windows, and some fans to help the paint dry. The painting also involved ladders. Which I hate. Mom, and us girls when with dad to Rosebud to help him with a house that he's working on for someone. I'M SO HAPPY THOUGH. WE GOT IT ALL DONE TODAY. That means that we don't have to go tomorrow. XD
Then I had to come home and peel paint off of me and my hair. Bleh. But, like I posted on FB, white paint makes pretty freckles. :) I'm happy to be clean.
(I know I'm not to reward myself with food, but can I have some chocolate now, since I did such a good job painting?)

The rest? of my day has been spent relaxing. And I love it. I just want my special person to relax WITH. I miss him more when I get sleepy.

I got a sweet message from a friend I've never met today. It cheered me up muchly. She's praying for me, and you really can't beat that from a friend.

I think I'm gonna go and eat some chocolate now.

'Night, peeps!

<(")

Day 24

Hello, everyone!

I don't have much time to blog tonight...I have to be up early in the morning, to go paint a house. Lovely. I just LOVE to get paint in my hair :P

Today was pretty uneventful...I was very lonely and bored this afternoon. :( Really missing my Baby, and the Sunday afternoons that we would spend together. Someday...

Tonight we went to the 4th Sunday singing...turned out better than I thought it would. I played some piano, very impromptu-y. Hmm, everyone said that it sounded great! So, I really hope that it did. :)

More tomorrow, peeps! Have a blessed day!

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Day 25

Whew. Being told that you are a religious tyrant is not the best way to end the day. God is still MY God, and I will defend what I believe. Even if it means losing a 14 year long friend.

That said, today was....lonely. I need T.L.C. Tickling, Laughing, and Cuddling. Or Talking, Luke, and Chocolate. Or Tickling, Luke, and Coffee. Oh well, I just need the TLC!! :) All of those are very essential to my health.

I was so sad today that I had to tell a friend that I won't make it to her wedding... :/ I really wanted to go, but something is telling me that I just shouldn't. So I'm trusting God on this one. He knows I want to go, and that I HATE that I'm missing it. I get to see pictures though! Not the same...but still. I'm just happy that she is marrying that man of her dreams :) God bless you both!!

A lot of today was spent in subconscious prayer. You know, when you pray something, and then later you think of something else, and just the whole day is like that. I like days like that. Being in constant communication with God is such a wonderful feeling. Yeah, still you need times that are specifically dedicated to it, but I love it that Grace allows us to come to Him whenever we want - wherever we are. So, over the course of the day, God and I got a lot of talking done. Even when I read, hear, or see things that discourage me, I know that God is right there with encouragement.

*sigh* This month of silence makes me want to give up Facebook. It's so hard to be on there at the same time he is, and not be able to talk to him. Cold Turkey is a hard sandwich to swallow!! God will bring us through.

Sleep in peace!

<(")

Day 26

Wow. The numbers are ticking off so fast. Thank you Jesus! This week has flown by, and dragged its tail all at the same time.

Today was pretty good. I didn't have time to sit and cry (yeah!), and managed not to drink too much coffee. And I haven't had chocolate. Hmm, that one's getting to me right about now. (grabs some Dark chocolate that's too close) Dove tells me to take time to notice the colors of the leave changing. Already? Boy oh boy, was that chocolate good. :)

I FINALLY went and got a webcam today when I was in town. I already love it! It takes cool pictures, and has the neatest effects. I can tell I'm going to have fun with it.

You know that feeling when you give something so totally to God to take care of, that you feel like you're being lazy when you don't have something to 'do' anymore? Well, that's how I feel. So wonderful, exhilarating, and fun, but at the same time, scary, scarier, and scariest! I don't want to become lazy and lax in my prayer time with God just because he has it all under control, but rather I want to spend this freedom in just talking to God. He loves it when we just talk to him. I read a quote recently, "Sometimes God waits to answer prayers....just so He can get us to talk to Him longer". It made me think. God wants to be wanted and pursued, and not just when we are in hot water or need something only He can give us. He wants to have a love relationship with us, as His children. Sometimes I just like to sit in His lap, and he tells me how precious I am to him... and that he loves me so much. God is just awesome.

I really missed Luke today. There were times where I just wanted to pick up my phone and call or text him, to tell him something that had happened or whatever...it's hard to retrain your thinking.

Here are a few pictures from my new webcam adventures. :)






Well, goodnight peeps! Sweet well, and sleep dreams. <3

<(")

Day 27

I'm watching Sense and Sensibility. Not a very good thing, when my heart is in the state it is.
I listened to the song, Never knew Lonely, today. It was so true. Today I felt so lonely. So sad...just wanted to sigh so loudly, that he could hear me from here. My heart cries out that this would all be over with already. I miss his voice. I just miss HIM! And we have so far to go yet. Right now I want to call him and see how his day went. Tell him that I love him, and wish him pleasant dreams. But I can't. And it hurts. I suppose this missing him is normal, with the other half of my heart being gone.

I actually only had one nap today...not too much coffee, and minimal chocolate. I should be able to sleep well tonight. And I got some sewing done. I feel good about what got done, even with the state that my spirits were in. God continues to give me comfort - even when I feel sad. God gives me hugs :)

That said, I freakin' miss you Baby. Check Yes or No.

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